As a life and love coach, noticing a lot of cases about failing relationships breaks my heart, it could be so painful especially if you tried all your best to invest into the relationship. Love is not a common play although it is a natural and free element. Not being a casual play or friendship implies it has its own principles which should be adequately followed. As a natural and free element, love occurs when you least expected it. You can actually find it when and where you are not looking for it.
Relationships are engagements you succumb to due to mutual attraction and because they are vital in choosing one’s life partner, so I do not advice those that are in relationships to take it as if they were dating. Dating is when you are faced with multiple members of the opposite sex trying to get your intention and you can choose among the multiple. Relationships on the other hand is not like that because you are ascertained of who you want to choose as a life partner and you are ready to be exclusive with that person.
Now I am going to give seven most prevalent factors that kills a new relationship that have just starting building its foundation. It is the ignorance of these facts that makes a lot of contemporary relationships suffer and crumble immediately or sooner after taking of. Thence, most people will start thinking of being affected by some ill-fate and not destined to find true love.
1. Lack of Trust
It is not LOVE that is the most important thing in a relationship but trust, that is why you find lots of couples who really loved each other breaking up. Love is just the foundation on which all other things builds up on. Trust is the most essential thing needed in a relationship because that is the first solution in the case of conflict and misunderstandings. Couples who have sufficient element of trust in each other do not suspect unjustifiably, they do not just take whatever others say about their partners without verifying it and they always aim to cooperate with their lovers to achieve their goals, this is the evidence of intimacy coupled with true love. As a trusted lover, you can be assured that your partner truly loves you because it is the greatest need of most relationships and also the hardest to give out in contemporary times. Trust is really lacking in today’s relationships.
So today make sure you start developing some elements of trust in your partner and your relationship. Believe it can work.
Pride usually comes on both sides; the guy assuming that as the prospective head, he needs to act as the boss and need not be submissive in any way to his girlfriend. Such guys face a lots of conflicts with their girlfriends due to the failure to apologize when they are wrong. Girls are not left out here, most see themselves as so beautiful, thus they tend to be harsh and insolent to their boyfriends, they believe they are every guys’ dream. Guys are so much irritated by this lifestyle, of course no one likes it, hence such girls tend to lose their relationships and all the fortunes that would have come with it. Girls should flirt without looking harsh and mannerless. Remember guys value your respect more than your love.
3. Financial Burdens
A lot of ladies see their boyfriends as their ATM machine, their mines or bank account meaning they can obtain any amount of money they want for them and at anytime. They believe they are entitled to this right as a girlfriend. This is one of the greatest destroyers of new relationships. Never start out your relationship asking your guy for money or for any financial aid, it makes you look immatured and he might think that you are only interested in him because of his money. Actually, it is not bad for your boyfriend to assist you but do not demand for it so early when you both are not really committed to each other and also do not over-ask, it kills your love relationship.
When I say third-parties, I refer to friends, family, colleagues, peers and acquaintances. Although some of these people might mean well in your relationship but let me tell you there are some that will be jealous of your new fortune. Asking these people for advice when you have issues with your partner or letting them make intimate decisions for you is a huge disaster. Just as in marriage, to avoid undesirable occurrences try to let out third-parties out in your relationship decision making process as much as possible, only let those you are certain will provide positive impacts in your relationship participate in this.
Jealousy is like a cancer to budding relationships. It is manifested in lots of ways but the most prominent way is when you become too clingy and try to consume all of your partner’s time and attention. A lot of individuals feel that their partners should always be with them, they feel bad whenever they go out with friends and have some nice time-outs without them. Being in a relationship does not mean that you own your partner, he or she is still a free human being and does not need to be subjected to unwanted and unrealistic expectations.
As much as possible, individuals should try adapting to the fact that even if your lover hugs, pecks or caress another member of the opposite sex, it means nothing as long as it is not from the heart. This attitude will really help a lot of people as numerous problems incurred in relationships of contemporary times is that of jealousy.
Still having affairs when you are in a committed relationship is a prominent case in the society. A lot of people find it hard sticking to only one person and this creates a lot of issues. There is no one that will discover you have another partner behind them and be totally happy with you even if that is the same thing he or she is doing. I know it is not easy to resist the temptation from other admirable individuals but there should be this limitation when it comes to relating with other persons other than your partner. Friends should never be treated in the same zone as your lover.
Negligence is when you are indifferent towards your partner’s joy, sufferings, life and issues. Portraying this character entails that you do not truly love the person. A person who truly loves will always ask about the wellbeing of the object of his love, he will demand to know of everything going on in the life of his lover, not out of a jealous intention but out of a pure interest.
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